Bandaids and Boogies

November 9th, 2010 will mark a year since my journey truly began.  All time before that date in 2009 is like a distant memory... a memory of the "old" Christine.  The 9th started a series of events that led me to be confined to a hospital bed for 18 days.  I am lucky to be alive today, I came very close to not gracing this wonderful earth.  A humbling experience it was.. a routine surgery gone wrong.  It forced me to look around me, to examine my surroundings, my relationships, my goals and my dreams.  I looked with a cold eye at the things that the universe had been hitting me over and over with, trying to get my attention.  Now it got my attention and I am listening.  They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.  Well.. I found, in particular, the area of my relationships suffering.  The same things were happening and they weren't what I wanted or expected.   So I stopped and looked at my life from the point of an outsider.  What would others see in me that I could not see myself?  I became enlightened like Gandhi, had an epiphany, and started the process of re-arranging my entire life. I had just went back to work at the Board office, so my employment was right on track.  It was a job that I was extremely excited over.  That part of my life was good.  But friendships, love relationships and the relationships with my family was strained.  It wasn't just any one area, but several that I noticed where things were going awry. Hmm... could there be a common thread?  For many years I thought that the loss of my father when I was almost 15 could have been the cause of my failed relationships with men, but if that was the case... why my friendships and my family as well?  No.. there was something more, something deeper.  I had many discussions with friends over the years about this topic and one of the common thoughts were that there are specific building blocks when forming relationships. I examined that line of thought more closely.  I realized that yes, there are specific aspects to a relationship that you need in order for it to run more smoothly, to be healthy.  My Oma and Opa are a huge inspiration to me in the relationship department.  Over the years I have heard my Oma say things like my Opa is her best friend, that in order to stay together couples need to play together, and the big one.... never go to bed mad and always tell your partner you love them regardless of how mad you are at them.   These little insights have stuck with me over the years.  I want a relationship like theirs where no matter what happens, they love each other, where others look at them and use that relationship as an inspiration to model their own after.  Digging deeper into the meaning behind it all I came up with 5 simple building blocks.  These building blocks can be used to gauge any relationship, whether a friendship or a love relationship. 

TRUST, HONESTY, LOYALTY, RESPECT AND COMMUNICATION

Now when I think about the relationships around me I ask myself if they hold up to that standard.  I mean really, why would I be friends with someone I don't trust or doesn't respect me?  What happens when they aren't honest with me and I can't talk to them?  I started the process of gauging all of my relationships around me and soon a fair amount of people started to fall to the wayside.  My dear friend Constance once told me that as we age we become truer to ourselves.  She marvelled at how at my age I have already come to this place in my life.  Maybe it is because my life has never been easy and instead of taking the "Oh poor me" route, I chose to learn from my experiences and environments.  Something that many people neglect to do.  I do not blame anyone for where I am in my life.  In fact, all those experiences, good or bad, have made me the awesome being I am today.  If there is anything I want to pass to my children is the knowledge that being a martyr and blaming others for your life is not a positive way of life.  These are negative notions and can only stifle you from your full potential.  Life is grand and no matter how bad things get, you are only ever dealt with what you can handle.  There have been many times in my life where I hit bottom, sitting at the bottom of the box wondering how I was ever able to get out. I managed to not only get out, but be stronger because of it. Kahlil Gilbran says it best in his book "The Prophet" - The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Now I am embarking on a path in my life where I am the most connected and truest to myself that I have ever been.  I am loving with an open heart and an open mind, I am raising my children to reach their fullest potential, I live by the Golden Rule and by my golden rules, and I let no one change or make me bend my moral or principles.  Peace, love and virtue are mine.  I am achieving a higher sense of self and with that I am able to help others achieve theirs.  What an incredible place to be in. The sky has become bluer, the trees greener, and the flowers more vibrant.  My intuition is at an all-time high and little deception gets by me. I see people for who they really are and love those that fill my life with positive energy.

Life is pretty darn awesome.. and whether a bandaid or a boogy is the only imperfection we see.. a bandaid can be taken off and a boogy can be wiped away.  Life is not as hard as we make it, not if you have a little love, peace and understanding.